Create Personal Boundaries to Improve Your Mental Health

We all have things pop up from time to time thatwe don’t want to do. Often, however,we only *think* we have to do these things. We’re not being forced, but are instead doing them out of a sense of obligation. This often leads to anger, resentment and burnout.

However, you can avoid this by managing your external and internal boundaries.

What are boundaries?

External boundaries are guidelines that determine how you allow others to behave towards you. External boundaries are between you and others and can include what you allow others to do to you or for you. If you often feel resentment, anger, anxiety or feel taken advantage of it could indicate weak external boundaries and that you’re consistently being pushed past your own limits and values.

Here are some examples of my personal external boundaries:

• Personal: Sundays are for my daughter so I'm not available to hang out with you unless she is centered in the experience
• Time boundary: I value my evening routine so please don't call me after 8 pm
• Physical: Don't hug me if unless you ask

These external boundaries could be internal boundaries as well. 

Internal boundaries allow you to maintain balance, exhibit self-discipline and manage your time, thoughts, emotions and behavior. If you’re able to take accountability for your feelings and actions, especially as they relate to other people’s feelings and actions, it’s a sign that you have strong internal boundaries.

Where can/should you implement boundaries?

Boundaries can exist in a variety of areas. Below are some examples of areas where you may need to create boundaries .

Physical boundaries – Declining hugs if you don’t want them
Possession boundaries – Not sharing a favorite book/toy with others
Spiritual boundaries – Attending a place of worship of your choosing, even if your partner or friends have a different beliefs system
Emotional boundaries – Choosing not to be a shoulder to cry on for a friend going through a hard time

Time boundaries – Not attending meetings scheduled before 8 am

As you grow and learn about yourself, you’ll learn what things irritate you and what things you can let slide. Having boundaries, and maintaining them, help to ensure that you’re respecting your own needs in spite of what happens around you.

Christina is a results oriented Personal Productivity Coach who specializes in taking knowledge workers from overwhelmed to overjoyed. By combining the unique skills and talents of each person with the best tools and resources, Christina coaches stressed professionals on getting more control over their time! Follow Christina on Instagram and YouTube @OrganizingHigher.